Why You’re Half-Assing Things

There is lesser known secret about why we half-ass things, or don’t show up fully, play full out in our lives and business.

This week I want to talk to you about why you might be half assing things. Is that a bit of a thing to say?

Yeah, it sounds like I'm going to be, you know, bad coaching you and it's not the case at all. But I really want to help you understand why you might be trying things, and they might not be working out.

If you're in business for yourself and you are trying to do something, trying to achieve something, trying to earn a certain amount of money, and you just can't seem to get there, maybe you're not showing up with your full enthusiasm.... there is a reason.

And it's not what you think.

Marketing ourselves, showing up on social, asking for the sale, can all be really hard for some of us. There are lots of reasons that some coaches will tell you are at the root of this - you're not all in, you're not fully committed, you're not this, that or the other thing. You might need another strategy, you might not have the right funnel, you might not have all manner of things, you might not have enough qualifications.

I call bullshit.

I'm going to pinpoint something that runs underneath any and all of that, that will absolutely make you half ass something completely unintentionally, and unconsciously. And when you know what this is, you can stop self flagellating, stop beating yourself up about why you've been doing this because it isn't your fault.

We have these things called financial trauma and goal trauma, things that have happened to us in the past to do with money and how safe we felt in the world. For example, financial trauma is something that happened which meant that you were less resourced, you had less in the bank, you have less than savings, and maybe you kind of think to yourself, "but if that hadn't happened, I'd be way further along by now". This might be something like a court battle, a divorce, some dodgy investments, maybe a parent passed away, and there was no money left, it all disappeared. And we no longer felt safe about money.

Goal Trauma is a little bit different. It happens when you've tried to make something work in the past, and you threw everything at it, you moved heaven and earth, you really believed in it, even to the point where maybe you've sacrificed your health or a relationship and it didn't work out, or it didn't work out the way you wanted it or it went horribly, horribly wrong.

It could be that you were betrayed by someone in a business partnership, or that you were let down by people as part of the reason it failed. Either way, you will have unconsciously taken a vow never to be that vulnerable again. To never get your heart broken like that again. To never to show up like that again, never to put your all into something again. Never to put your family second again, never to ignore a relationship again. Never to show up as fully as you did because after all that, it didn't work anyway. It’s heartbreaking.

The thing about goal trauma is that it acts like a huge heavy black cloud over your entire endeavour. For example, if you are trying to get a business off the ground, or you're trying to ramp it up, you're trying to grow it, scale it, pivot it, to get yourself known as an authority in your space, and you have goal trauma that you haven't worked through, you'll only get so far.

Then you'll either self sabotage, or you'll shy away and hide. Unconsciously, we will not run towards that level of pain, especially if there was humiliation involved. Worse still, if you've tried multiple times to get a business off the ground, and it didn’t work, you’re not going to show up to your full capability to your full enthusiasm, passion, power, and purpose because you don't want to get your heart broken again.

In reality, if you don't do the energetics to uncover and dissolve it, you will forever punish yourself, blame yourself, tell yourself that you are fundamentally incapable that you're not qualified enough. I don't want that for you. I want you to have a level of freedom, so that if you want to do a lazy launch, you get to do a lazy launch, but it's not because you can't show up. It's not because you haven't got the enthusiasm. It's not because you're just stuck spinning your wheels and you don't know why you're strategically choosing to do it that way or not as the case may be. Do you see the difference?

I would love to know how this lands for you, and if you find yourself in this reality, just know you can create a new one whenever you’re ready. Get in touch if you want me to help you. hello@innersmileeft.com

Categories: Business Growth, Coaching, Emotional Health, Energy Work